Keep Your Hat On
by Sugarrush71
Summary: A certain bachelorette party visit "The Man-Hat-On" strip club and a revealing discovery is made. Set in season 7 just before the much anticipated wedding and inspired by some lines in 7x03.


_A/N : Here is a fun little story that popped into my head after watching 7x03 "Clear and Present Danger" and asking the question, why would a bouncer have body glitter on? Plus I think this is a much more interesting idea for a bachelorette party than the "spa day" mentioned previously._

_Disclaimer : Castle is the creation of AWM, David Amann, ABC/Disney and the other Castle writers. Only this fun little idea is mine._

* * *

><p>The large black stretch Hummer, with blue neon lights lighting the ground under the running boards, pulls up in front of the club. This very common sight for a Friday night in New York is soon added to with the sight of one of the passenger doors opening and a diminutive woman in a tight red dress leaping out. The dark haired and skinned woman then turns back and leans into the open passenger door to grab something. That something turns out to be the arm of a tall, slim woman with medium length brown hair, in a very short, skin tight, navy blue dress who is being dragged reluctantly out of the limo.<p>

"Uh Uh girlfriend! You are coming inside and that's the end of it," says the smaller woman sassily as she succeeds in pulling the taller woman out of limo and towards the doors of the club.

Several other women, all in their "clubbing" dresses, tumble out of the door of the Hummer and follow the pair. A couple of the women stumble, obviously a little worse for drink. This is yet another common sight for a Friday night, a bachelorette party. This is confirmed by the oversized fake badge pinned to the chest of the tall, slim woman being dragged to the club. On closer inspection the badge can be seen to be in the shape of a NYPD detective's badge. At the bottom of the badge, instead of numbers, there is the word 'BRIDE'. In the centre of the badge, where there should be the seal of New York City, there are two figures, one male, one female, holding hands and each wearing blue bullet proof vests. One vest has POLICE written on it in white while the other has WRITER on it. The lettering in an arc around this image reads "Future wife of RC – HANDS OFF!"

The tall woman digs in her five inch heels, stopping herself and her friend in their tracks, pulls her arm from the shorter woman's grasp and in exasperation declares, "Lanie! I am not going into a sleazy strip club. It's such a cliché."

"Exactly Kate. We are going to tick all the bachelorette party clichés this time. No spa day. Instead we're having a night of FUN. After the last few months you are in serious need of fun. To make some last wild memories of single life before you permanently handcuff yourself to Writer-Boy on Sunday. He and the boys had their fun last week in Vegas re-enacting "The Hangover" and now it's our turn. So come on and let's go look at some choice hunks of beef cake," rebuts Medical Examiner and Maid of Honour Lanie Parish.

Detective and Bride to Be Kate Beckett rolls her eyes and whines something she wouldn't normally say if it wasn't for the several glasses of champagne she's already scoffed that night, "Why, when I've got a perfectly fine hunk of beef cake waiting for me back at home?"

"Eww, future step daughter here remember," interrupts the recently turned 21 year old, red haired woman that joins the pair of women at that moment.

"Sorry Alexis," apologises Kate with a slight blush at the slip in her description of the girl's father.

Kate was not in the mood to go into some darkly lit male strip club and have ridiculously overpriced drinks while watching some greased up, steroid enhanced Fabio wannabes gyrate in front of her. The night had been going so well up to that point. Before leaving the loft Writer and Husband to Be Rick Castle had pinned the BRIDE badge on her and then thoroughly kissed her. He'd been very obviously affected by the sight of her in the same blue dress she'd worn on their first undercover operation in a night club. He'd then given her a playful pat on the ass as she was on her way out and added, "No Ferrari for you to drive tonight Kate but I think you will like the transport I have arranged for you all."

Which is why they'd turned up in the ridiculously large converted Hummer because it's ostentatiousness had her soon to be husband written all over it. That and the fact that he'd told her that the night was all on him were, she knew, further indications of her fiancé's still festering guilt over his disappearance before their previous attempt at marriage. She'd told him repeatedly that she's moved past his disappearance on their wedding day and absence for two months. He still couldn't remember what happed during that time. She believed and trusted him when he said that he would never willingly leave her. It had taken them another month to find the 'solid ground' he'd promised but they had. Now here they were, two days away from finally being permanently and legally joined together. This time she was damm sure that nothing was going to get in their way. So much so she'd become just a bit stressed about it which is also why Lanie, supported by Rick, had roped her into this blow-out.

She'd met the rest of the party at 'The Old Haunt' where they'd started the night sharing more than a few bottles of champagne. Besides Lanie and Alexis she'd been joined by Kevin Ryan's wife Jenny, her high school friend Maddison, Detective Karpowski, Officer's Velasquez and Hastings and computer tech Tory Ellis from the precinct. They'd also been initially joined by Captain Gates who, to everyone's relief, had left to go home to her family after toasting the bachelorette.

After the bar they went to Maddie's restaurant, Q3, for dinner in a private room. There she'd had to suffer through an unhealthy dose of mortification as not only Lanie but Jenny – courtesy of Kevin, Karpowski, Hastings and Tory all told stories of the number of times that she and Castle had been noticed to be conspicuously absent, usually at the end of a case, during the day at the precinct. Also, of how that during these times that the supply and janitors closets, the women's washroom and the gym change rooms doors at the precinct were found to be mysteriously locked. She was blushing furiously when it was revealed that the whole 4th floor of the precinct had a pool going whenever they finished a case on how long it would take Beckett and Castle to "disappear". Of course Maddie had to chime in at that point with, "So, KBecks, that explains why the cloakroom was such a mess the last time you two were here for dinner." By the end she had to take several slugs of vodka to get past her own embarrassment at the realisation of how much they'd broken her own rule of no 'activities' at the precinct. It also wasn't helped by seeing the queasy look Alexis had on her face at the talk of her father's 'activities'. She was just glad that Martha had ceded to her son's pleading to not attend using the argument that it was hardly appropriate for the future mother-in-law to go to the bachelorette party. If she had she would have been able add even more stories of unexpected and embarrassing encounters at the loft.

After dinner they'd all gone to a night club for some more drinks and some dancing. She'd enjoyed the buzz of the tequila shots she'd had there as she fluidly moved in time to the music on the club's dance floor. A couple of unwise males had tried dancing with her but soon learned the error of their ways. If the attitude she was exuding of wanting to be alone wasn't enough to discourage them they'd been driven off by the protective pack of the rest of the bachelorette party as they formed a protective phalanx dancing around her.

As the thrum of the music rolled through her she'd closed her eyes and let the alcohol and rhythm send tingles wash over her skin. Eventually those tingles started to concentrate in certain areas of her body and she was starting to think that it was time to go home to the loft and have her fiancé deal with them. That's when Lanie had dragged them all back into the Hummer and to this strip club saying that it had been suggested to her by Javi Esposito as just the right place for them. The alcohol in her system had dulled her brain enough that she didn't linger too long on the thought of how Esposito knew about the best male strip clubs and especially one called "The Man-Hat-On". Her musings are now interrupted by a loud "Woo" from another member of the party.

"Woo Hoo! Yeah, this is the place. Jussh where I NEEEED to be!" exclaimed the petite blond Jenny Ryan as she stumbled quickly past them and into the club. Kate, Alexis and Lanie shared amazed grins at the sight of their friend's eagerness to enter the club.

"Whoa, who knew an Irish girl like Jenny would be such a light weight?" asked Lanie.

"And that she was a 'Woo Girl'. I thought she'd passed out in the limo?" added Kate.

"Looks like she's got her second wind," responds Alexis as she hurries to follow the inebriated woman. Alexis, always the responsible one, had taken it upon herself to look after Jenny after it became apparent at Q3 that a year of motherhood had seriously eroded her tolerance for alcohol.

"Come on we HAVE to go in now," declared Lanie as she grabbed Kate's arm again and resumed dragging her through the doors of the strip club.

As she was pulled through the door being held open by a smiling bouncer, Kate's senses were assaulted by the flashing lights, base filled music, loud alcohol fuelled whoops and smells of sweat, stale alcohol and desperate women. Lanie dragged her to a roped off alcove of a raised area at the back of the club that had a 'reserved' sign perched on the table. She was virtually pushed into the centre of the bench seat behind the table by Lanie as the rest of the party started pilling in around her. They were finally joined by Jenny being similarly dragged by Alexis to sit at one end of the seat. From this raised position their reserved table had a clear view of the stage. There she could see that one 'dancer' was obviously just completing his set. With more enthusiasm than skill he ended up on his knees at the edge of the stage just out of reach of the group of bouncing women grouped there grasping singles in their hands to thrust into his thong.

Lanie gestured to one of the bare-chested, bow tie wearing male waiters and yelled over the surrounding din, "A round of shots for everyone, handsome, and keep them coming until we leave."

"So Beckett, how you doing?" asked Karpowski as she leaned over the table looking into Kate's eyes.

Kate turned her head to respond and the sudden wave of dizziness followed by the time it took for her vision to focus on her fellow detective's face made her realise that the night was catching up on her. She was still doing better that most of those around the table especially, as the woman of the hour, seeing as she had been given twice as many drinks as everyone else. "Fine, Karpowski. Just fine. How about you?" responded Kate with only a slightly slurry voice.

"Oh I'm great and I'm really enjoying the view," replied the older woman as a couple of the half clothed waiters proceeded to deposit trays of shots on the table. One in particular leaned right across her while delivering their order.

Lanie thrusts a shot glass into Kate's hand and then raises her own to the other occupants of the table. As the rest of the party follow her example and raise their glasses she clears her throat and addresses them, "Ladies, to my best friend Kate Beckett! The smartest, toughest, hottest most badass detective in all of New York City and to the new chapter of her life with 'Writer-Boy', sorry, 'Writer-Man'," she quickly amends after the yell from the red head at the end of the table and the glare from said detective. "Kate, I'm so happy and proud for you. You've waited so long for your 'One and Done' and skeevey ex-boyfriends married in Vegas notwithstanding, you are finally getting your 'One'. With the exception of our sloshed blond friend at the end of the table we are all extremely jealous that you are getting to marry the love of your life, FINALLY! Ladies, to Kate!"

To the collective calls of "To Kate" and "Beckett" they all bang their shot glasses on the table, raise them to their lips and gun down their contents. Kate releases a gasp at the burning sensation in her throat at the strong mix of liquors as they make their way down. She is blinking away the tears that have formed in her eyes at the strength of the concoction she'd just consumed as the lights over the crowd of the club dim and the lights over the stage increase in intensity.

The deep voice of the club's announcer starts reverberating over the PA, "Hey Ladies! It's that time of the night for our all-star review! It's time for some of New York's Finest!"

As the NYPD employees around the table groan at what they all suspect is about to come they watch a group of 'officers' stride onto the stage, all wearing fake looking police uniforms. As the fake 'officers' form a line across the stage the group of women at the edge of the stage grow in numbers and anticipation as they eagerly await what is to come. All the 'officers' have their caps pulled right down and in many cases the peaks of their caps were covering their faces almost to the tips of their noses. Kate was surprised to see Jenny, at the end of the table, bouncing up and down in equally obvious anticipation before the routine even started.

The routine starts with the sounds of sirens blasting through the clubs speakers and red and blue lights flashing into the faces of the crowd. The music starts and there is another groan from Kate as she recognises the sounds of Tom Jones' "You Can Leave Your Hat On". Its official, she thinks, this is the most clichéd visit to a strip joint ever. As the music continues the 'officers' start moving in time and in concert. There is a lot of rolling of shoulders and thrusting of hips and Kate looks around the table at the reaction of her table mates. All seem enthralled with the scene in front of them. Some of them, Tory and Maddie, are looking particularly wistfully and glassy eyed at the performance on the stage. Most surprising to her was the energy the previously zonked out Jenny was showing in her appreciation of the group of 'officers' gyrating in front of her. As she watched the blond she cupped her hands in front of her face and yelled, "Whoo, take it off!"

At that Kate turned her attention back to the stage in time to see the group of 'officers' simultaneously rip open and off their shirts exposing their oiled and chiselled torsos. She was momentarily mesmerised by the sight of so much appealing man flesh but while appreciating the male forms in front of her she wasn't as excited or aroused as some of her table mates were getting. Castle really had spoiled her as far as other men were concerned. The song continues and the 'officers' continue their routine with their pants soon joining their shirts in being ripped from their bodies, helped by the snaps along the seams. Now all the officers were left in just in black thongs and the peaked caps still on their heads. Kate wasn't really paying much attention to the group on stage but then something made its way through her shot influenced brain. Something about one of the 'officers' at the right hand end of the group. Something familiar about the set of that body, the height and the movement. As she tried to figure out why that particular 'officer' had piqued her attention he, along with the rest of the 'officers', raised their hands to the peaks of their caps with the obvious intention of removing them.

A few bars of the song later that is exactly what they all did and at that moment Kate felt her jaw drop to the table. As she struggled to come to terms with the sight in front of her she felt the painful jab of Lanie's elbow into her side followed with her disbelieving whisper, "Kate….is….is that RYAN?"

Initially all Kate could do was nod in equal disbelief at the sight of her partner and 'little brother' moving in time with the music and all the other dancers on the stage. Her shock is suddenly pushed to one side at the sudden realisation of who else is in their party and what her reaction would be at this realisation of the night activities of one Kevin Ryan. As both Kate and Lanie gasp, "Jenny!" and turn to the end of the table where the bubbly blond is sitting they hear another excited, alcohol fuelled shout from the diminutive woman, "YEAAH! THAT'S MY MAN!"

They both see the woman looking with obvious pride and lust at her husband on stage. At the sound of Jenny's voice there is a perceptible stutter in Ryan's movements on stage. They could see him now trying to look past the glare of the spotlights blazing into his face to see into the crowd for the source of that yell.

To say that Kate and Lanie are unprepared for Jenny's reaction is an understatement. Then, as Kate gives it a second thought, she knew that the Ryan's were feeling the pinch financially and they were one of those couples that shared everything, even when one of them might be in the photo album of a known 'player'. So perhaps it shouldn't be that surprising that Jenny would know exactly what her husband was doing to provide for her and their daughter.

Kate takes the opportunity to avoid looking at one of her dearest friends in his almost birthday suit by looking at the reactions of the others around the table. Lanie has now put a hand in front of her eyes in attempt to block the scene from her sight but this is spoiled as Kate could plainly see one of her eyes wide and peeking through a gap in her fingers. Karpowski has a huge shit eating grin on her face and Kate could see her mind working out all the ways she is going to make Ryan's life a living hell with this revelation. Velasquez, Hastings and Tory all have their hands to their mouths, with their eyes wide with the same shock at the sight of the usually buttoned up detective being completely unbuttoned. Her friend Maddie was also looking around in surprise at the reaction of the others around of the table. She'd only met Ryan a couple of times when the Ryan's had accompanied Beckett and Castle to dinner at Q3 so she couldn't immediately figure out what was causing all the consternation around the table. That was until Alexis leaned into her and obviously whispered the identity of the dancer at the end of the stage. Maddie then glanced at the excited Jenny and then was wearing the same wide eyed and opened mouth look of shock that Kate is sure was on her face when she recognised Ryan. Then there was Alexis. After leaning back into her seat after whispering to Maddie the young red head was now openly looking with interest at the sight on stage. There was a definite increase in the pinkness of her porcelain cheeks as she watched a man she considered an uncle display himself to a room of rowdy and horny women. Kate made a mental note to have a girl to girl chat with Lex about that later.

As the rich tones of Tom Jones led to the end of the song the group on stage proceeded to hold their caps in front of their groins and for a moment Kate had a sinking feeling about where this routine would end. Then she remembers this is New York and not a mining town in Wales and they weren't going "The Full Monty". With the last notes of the song there is the flash and billowing smoke of fireworks at the back of the stage and all of the 'officers' reach behind their caps, rip off their thongs, twirl them above their heads and fling them into the crowd. Fortunately for Kate they all, especially Ryan, keep their caps firmly in front of their packages. She sighs with relief. At least now she wasn't going to have to pay for more sessions of therapy with Dr Burke to try and remove that image from her head. With the end of the routine all of the women in the club started clapping, cheering and wolf whistling. There is a shower of dollar bills thrown onto the stage at the panting performers.

All the women at the bachelorette table join in with the applause and cheers until Lanie calls out, "WAY TO GO HONEYMILK!"

At that Kate was sure she could see Ryan go pale as a ghost and it was no surprise to her that he was backing off stage as quickly as possible while making sure to keep his cap firmly in place. Once he was out of sight the table dissolved into a series of embarrassed and surprised laughs and giggles. Kate dropped her forehead to the table as she thought to herself, "Yeah, I don't think I can forget this night and I don't know if that's a good thing." Her head is brought up from the table by the still heavily alcohol influenced voice of Jenny Ryan, "Well, I don't know about you girls but off to get a lap dance from a CERTAIN man. See you later." She then proceeds to pull her hand out of Alexis' grasp and stagger away with purpose.

Kate and Lanie share a look and with raised eyebrows Lanie asks the question, "Well, do we wait for her or do we just go onto karaoke?"

* * *

><p>Kate Beckett woke with the feeling of a hundred jackhammers in her head and the taste of a New York City taxi cab's carpet in her mouth. Even the muted light of the loft's main bedroom was too much for her sensitive eyes when she made the effort to open them. With a groan she presses her naked body into the equally naked side of her fiancé and uses all of her considerable will to still the unpleasant feelings making themselves very present in her stomach. She feels the broad hand splayed on her back start moving in slow, comforting circles. Through the ear pressed to his chest Kate hears a chuckle rumble from Castle's throat.<p>

"You awake there Party Girl?"

Kate doesn't respond immediately as she fights the sudden urge to go running to the bathroom. She is just able to still her turbulent stomach and replies wearily, "Ohh Castle, don't talk. Everything is too loud."

Her response elicits another throaty chuckle from Castle and he continues to rub her back softly. After a while he whispers a question to her, "Did you want to get up anytime soon? It is 10am."

This just brings another groan from Kate and she responds, "I'll get up when the world stops spinning."

"How about some breakfast or at least some water? Looks like you need some serious hydration," asks Castle in his ever continuing quest to look after Kate Beckett, love of his life.

"Ahh, Yeah, water is a good idea and maybe some very dry toast. Then coffee, black coffee and aspirin, a whole drug store of aspirin," responds Kate as she makes the effort to think of the best ways to dig herself out of the hole she's gotten herself into.

"On it," declares her soon to be husband as he slowly disentangles himself from her embrace.

The bed dips as he sits at the edge of the bed and then stands. Disengaged from the warmth of her favourite bed toy Kate rolls onto her back and rests her forearm over her eyes to keep the painful light from her brain. As he makes his way around the bedroom, pulling on a pair of boxers and then his robe he makes the comment, "You know it doesn't speak well of your future as a step mother that the first time you take our daughter drinking you both come back barely able to walk in a straight line."

If opening her eyes wouldn't fry her brain she would be giving him one of her patented looks right now but instead she responds, "Ahh, how's Lex?"

"I looked in on her earlier and she's doing as about well as you are. Just happened to get there in time to hold her hair back. Last time I saw her she had a six pack of bottled water on her night stand, a bucket next to her bed and monkey bunkey in a death grip."

"Sorry Castle. Who would have thought I'd be such a bad influence on her," she replies miserably.

"Hey, none of that. It's all part of life and nowhere near some of the stuff I've done. Plus she's 21 now and as much as this grieves me she's a grown woman capable of making her own decisions and mistakes. Now you keep resting while I see to your recovery needs."

Castle makes his way to the door of the bedroom and opens it but before he leaves he pauses in the doorway and turns back to the bed.

"Kate, when you came home last night and we…um…you know, do what we do best. You kept asking me if I had any body glitter. What was that about?"


End file.
